Personality

One issue I find myself dealing with on a daily basis is the lack of trust I have in people and or relationships of all kinds. This is something that I am not extremely proud of at all! Simply because it has ruined friendships/ platonic relationships I’ve had with women in the past, also could’ve caused me from truly opening up and establishing genuine life long relationships of different kinds. I’m not only speaking on romantic relationships with women, but relationships I may have with friends, co-workers, associates and even family members.

I feel this could all stem from early on in my childhood, as I was growing up my parents would both constantly dwell in my head “Don’t Trust Anyone or Only Trust People to a Certain Extent” Even them! So by hearing that all the time and the fact of me being the only child raised between two drug addicted parents that shipped me back and forth… I had to grow up very fast, hard and alone a lot. So that saying actually had a big part in raising me through my child and teenage years. As I became a little order and starting dating a lot I would get questioned often which caused me too wonder; Why is it I have a hard time trusting & getting close to people? Then once I first attended college I had a psychology professor that I had written a similar assignment for in class, she stated after reading my indebt story of my childhood upbringings it brought tears too her face.

I’m assuming her Psychology educational background started to kick in because she would then try to question and analyze my thoughts. And it wasn’t til then that I believe I realized one of the relationships I had with someone that I truly loved and lost complete trust in, which was with my mother. Growing up I was very close to my mother and I always trusted and believe she would never lie to me. But at that age to find out that your mother lied & broke a promise which would have her taken away due to incarceration for 10-13 years of my life hurt...