Adi Review

Descriptive Essay

Peer Review

Draft: Night Light Adventures!

There she was striding fiercely into the marvelous, glistening fair grounds; with her friends Alyssia, Taylor and Jazmine. Glowing gracefully was a big sign that read “Zipper”. It shined brightly like a shooting star flying across the sky. Before they could get on the rides the tasty smell of sweet funnel cakes filled the air, as there mouths watered with delight. It was almost as if someone had poured sweet cranberry juice in their mouths. They looked at each other and dashed to the Funnel cake stand and watched as if they were over joy. They gooped and declared they had funnel cakes at that very moment.

“Girls” said Lece’s mom, “Are you going to ride any rides?” They replied with a yes mama’, just give us a minute please”. They continue to devour the funnel cake as if it was their last meal. With every bite it seemed almost like paradise, it oozed with powdered sugar, butter and strawberries. They ate, and ate until finally the girls were left with only the sugar on their fingers.

After finally finishing the funnel cake the girls, stood in line to ride “Big Zipper”. The line seemed forever, however the girls waited patiently chatting about the week’s events at school. Once the girls were on the ride, the thrill was gone. It seemed as if they went around and around and the ride got bumpy and rough after a while. The girls were ready to get off however the ride went on for what seemed like eternity. As they were hanging upside down, Ambria’s eyes popped when she saw a lighter from someone’s pocket drop, she was thinking “please don’t let us blow up on this darn ride”! Her friends laughed at her and told her she was crazier than a wild woman in forest alone.

Jazmine spotted out the corner of her eyes a game; she quickly went over and started to play. “Whack”, Jazmine hit the bong and it let out a loud thump thought our ears. We shouted jubilantly with...