Dealing with Teenagers

Most teenagers, at some time in their lives, will openly defy the advice and authority of their parents and other figures of authority. The key to dealing with rebellious teenagers is avoiding confrontation, being patient and recognising that you have a teenager. The important thing to remember is that most teenagers will pass through this phase and return to become normal law abiding citizens.

The major reason for rebellion in teenagers is for them to find their place in the adult world, to find where they belong in the greater scheme of things. Like all children, teenagers cannot know the limits of their behaviour without first exploring the edges. We are not born with an innate sense of right and wrong, we learn the difference through trial and error as we mature. Teenagers only need the time, and life's lessons, to learn correct behaviour.

Why does it seem to happen in teenagers and not younger? That is because teenagers are learning how to be adults, not children, they already know how to be children. Adults have a lot more freedom than children, but adults understand, often through bitter experience, that with freedom comes responsibilities and repercussions. Younger children are protected from the repercussions by their parents, teenagers cannot always be, nor do they necessarily want to be, protected from these repercussions.

Confronting teenagers almost never works, it only gives them an opportunity to test their will and strength. Discussion about behaviour will always work better, but not necessarily always work. When discussing behaviour with a teenager talk about behaviour in general, not their behaviour in particular, this way they can be objective and not feel the need to protect their position. But when discussing issues with teenagers be prepared for argument, they will question every point you make; remember, they don't have the years of experience you have accumulated to find this wisdom, what you know may not match what they have learnt....