How to Be

HOW TO BECOME... ME ... circa 2005

First, try to be anything: A stand up comedian/a cricketer. A movie star/ a joker. A rebel. Lose faith in all that. Get confused. Try your hand at academics. Try to get 90% or above and get a free ice-cream. Dream of being able to eat ice-cream always. Once competition becomes greater between you and your brother, try to start working on the subject you have a comparative advantage in. Start doing maths. Work hard for one exam, only to be beaten by your brother in the same. Hate yourself. Work harder. Lose again. Wonder if you are really cut out for this.

In middle school, get tutored in Math by Mr. Bhalla. Reincarnation of evil while teaching you. Reincarnation of everything great once you get 97% in your grade 10th when you take the exam that every student in India has to take. Lip sync to famous songs while making wise cracks at him. Hate him even more when he says your brother is better than you. Hate him when he asks you to get your parents to sign the note saying that you haven't finished the work that he had assigned. Hate him when you are getting scolded by parents as they sign the note. Hate him when you are grounded. Feel happy when you outsmart him by skipping some problems in the middle of the homework, and not letting him realize that you did. Love him once you are done with him. Love him for helping you get the grades you got. Love him for helping you understand those damn linear equations.

Just before high school father starts work with United Nations, family shifts to Switzerland. Try to accommodate to new situation and new surroundings while trying to cope with school work. Things are more organized. The traffic is better, the streets cleaner. The food bad, the language worse. Try learning a foreign language, French, while trying to make friends. Learn they are in the school rugby team. Join the school rugby team. Brother turns out to be better at that too. Revert back to math. Start understanding...