Discovering Me

Discovering Me

I never knew how exciting life could really be; I was always too busy feeling down on myself for my bad choices that I’ve made over the course of my life. I never imagined that all my bad choices would lead me to where I am today, but in fact those choices were how I made the discovery of me.

I was born in the winter of 1977 to a white father and a black mother, and although the times of segregation had passed me by, discrimination and prejudice still existed. When I started school I was hated by the other children because of my looks; I was called names like Oreo, and zebra, some of the children even pulled my hair out of being envious, I felt so out of place there and could not wait for the school bell to ring so I could go home for the day. However, when I got home there was not much relief, you see, my parents had 14 children and I was the youngest of the 14, most of my sisters’ had moved out of the house, so I was left there with my brothers’ which one in particular thought he was the king over me; he felt as if he was the king and I was just a lowly peasant and if I did not do what he said I would have been beaten. I remember telling my mother that he wouldn’t stop hitting me and of course my mother’s favorite line to him was “Hit her again and I am gonna whip your butt,” but of course she never followed through with her threat, so he never stopped hitting me. My father on the other hand did not approve of my brother hitting me and when I told him that my brother hit me, I knew for sure that my brother was in for a good spanking and that would stop him from hitting me, although it was only for a little while.

My father was a gentle, kind, and loving man and my mother was very strict, stern, and critical thinking woman, they were the true meaning of “opposites attract,” and for the longest time I believed that only my father truly loved me, and there was no love that was greater than the love he gave me; every problem that I...