Plan for Fitness

21 Ways to Keep a Healthy Level of Sanity at Work

1. Play Red Rover with every couple you see holding hands.

2. Put a troll doll on the corner of your desk. Every time someone comes to ask you for something, point to it and ask them to speak to your receptionist.

3. Tell your boss that you won’t be able to make the meeting because you’re “just not feeling it” † five days before the actual meeting.

4. Sit down with a complete stranger in the food court. Eat off their plate and complain about the taste.

5. Frisk everyone entering your cubicle. Confiscate pens as “potential weapons”.

6. Spend an entire day speaking in pig latin.

7. Set up a hibachi in your cubicle. Invite people by after the meeting for a barbeque.

8. Start referring to your boss as “little buddy”.

9. Change your voicemail to say that you’re on vacation, even when everyone knows you’re not. Wave and smile when people pass your cubicle.

10. Contribute to everything work-related in Monopoly money.

11. Glue a loonie to the floor. It’s an oldie, but a goodie.

12. Demand that every memo sent to you begins with “your majesty”. Always respond using “the royal we”.

13. Leave a magic kit out on your desk. When people come to talk to you, act REALLY surprised that they can still see you.

14. Put a paper shredder in your cubicle. Label it “In”.

15. Hop on one foot. Everywhere.

16. Put pictures of someone else’s kids on your desk.

17. Put pictures of yourself on your desk.

18. Every time someone asks you for something, ask if they’d like their order supersized.

19. Put an order through the work supply desk for a tanning bed. See if you actually get it. Keep trying.

20. Fed-ex a bag lunch to yourself every day.

21. Trace a chalk outline of yourself on the floor. Phone your boss the next day and say that unfortunately, you won’t be making it into work. Don’t disguise your voice.