Relativity

Group F: "Just Know, He's Worth More To Us Than To You"

23. Blake Griffin

I still feel guilty.

22. Josh Smith

It's heartwarming to see a talented player with two fatal flaws -- in this case, the inability to get along with others, as well as a terrible jumper that he kept insisting on shooting -- suddenly have the epiphany, "Maybe I'll play a season without doing the two things that drive everyone so crazy about me."

Semi-related note: This year's draft is head case-heavy, so it will be fascinating to see whether the recent successes of Smith and Z-Bo remove the "STAY AWAY!!!!" neon signs flashing on the foreheads of the 2010 draft class. Hell, we might even see DeMarcus Cousins get drafted ahead of Evan Turner this June, which should never happen unless it's a draft for the likelihood of someone uttering the sentence, "Don't hang up, you're my only phone call!"

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Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

Josh Smith and Al Horford have led the Hawks to the No. 3 record in the East.

21. Andrew Bynum

20. Al Horford

I've been tormenting my Lakers friends that Bynum is the new Joe Barry Carroll, someone who gives you a joyless, businesslike 18-10 with two blocks every game (assuming he's getting the playing time). There's a reason Peter Vecsey anointed Carroll "Joe Barely Cares" once upon a time, just like there's a reason Phil Jackson floated a fake "Bynum-for-Bosh" trade rumor out there last month just to kick Bynum in the butt. I don't trust him yet. As for Horford, he gives you 95 percent of what Bynum gives you for one-third the price. Did you notice how well he fit in with everyone in the All-Star Game? One of my favorites.

Group E: "Only If They Asked to Leave"

19. Pau Gasol

18. Paul Pierce

This season, L.A. is asking Gasol to be its No. 2 like always, but Boston needs Pierce to be its No. 1. And he can't get there every night. That's the difference between the two teams right now. You don't mind if I pour a drink right now, do...