No Marshmallows, Just Term Papers
As the internet has evolved it is now a part of many persons daily lives and with that, many could not function or conduct their daily business or lives without it. It is impressive that we can now communicate and even see someone all the way across the country with just a few clicks of a mouse. But as technology changes and progresses seemingly for the good, many will always find ways to exploit technology and use it with the intent of committing crime turning a positive tool into a negative one. As such the negative side of the World Wide Web cybercrime has evolved as just one of the major disadvantages with the internet. Cybercrime itself is a broad term and can and does include any crime that is committed via the internet including seemingly minor acts as downloading music to denial of service attacks to acts of cyber-terrorism. With the newly formed threat of cybercrime has also come new ways for law enforcement to attack and prevent it as well and this in not only just in our own neighborhoods but is at an international scale.
And right there after that last sentence is where I would stick my Thesis sentence.
There is Transnational crime as well that is conducted over the internet if you want to check that out as a possibility as part of one of your body paragraphs. It includes human trafficking, prostitution, narcotic sales and the list goes on.
You intro was Ok but try to get away from what I see as "filler" sentences or ones that become redundant.
"We often times read stories about it in the morning newspaper, see it on the news, and hear scary things about what could happen through the internet"
"The things people can do with the computer are definitely becoming more and more serious every day." (that's kind of an understatement given the topic of the paper :) )
Just stick to the points you are going to make. The BEST way to write the BEST intro is to Develop a tentative Thesis first. Then you can start talking about points...
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