Attachment Theory

Attachment theory, originally described by psychologist John Bowlby, suggests that over the course of behavioural and cognitive interactions between a caregiver and an infant, one develops an original internal working model of knowledge of personal relations to form a model of attachment (Shaffer). Current research suggest that these tendencies can last into adulthood and serve as prototypes for future interactions such as friendships, parenting, casual relations and romance as functions of previous care giving experiences. With limited space and more information on relationships and attachment; than on attachments impact on future parenting, I will focus on romantic and camaraderie relationships within my life and place myself in one of the multiple applicable categories. All in all, no theory can be applied universally and while I see many trends within myself consistent with the theories there are exceptions which are not discussed. Nonetheless, I will speak of my implicit memories and personal traits coherent with the literature.

During the early years of my life my father was on location as a producer and was away for over half of the year, so once my mother conceived me, her second child, she decided to quit her job and start her own company. Like many great ideas, in theory this decision was made to increase the time spent together and take my sister and I out of the daycare system in effort to increase our secure attachment. Alternatively, the long hours of “quiet time” until my mother finished work, the confusion on her availability and her constant preoccupied mind had the opposite effect intended. My mother displayed the parenting styles associated with Mary Ainsworth’s definition of avoidant child rearing which are highlighted by unavailability, miscommunication, intolerance and verbal abuse, even if it was of situational context (Shaffer). My sister, my brother -born 4 years after me-, and I equate being at home with “constantly walking on egg...