Domestic Violence and the Characteristics of Abusers

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There is no simple way to describe a "typical" abuser. Abusers are as different from one another as any two people may be. However, studies have shown that abusers often have some things in common, such as feelings of low self-esteem, lack of trust, inability to take responsibility, and family history of substance abuse.”( ceusource.com). Other characteristics often include: (1) not taking responsibility for their actions,(2) wanting the woman all to himself, (3) charming sometimes while being angry or mean at other times, (4) does not trust people, (5) fears loss of control/power, (6) always thinks other people are hostile, (7) feels that their life is not worth anything.

Manipulation, Isolation, Jealousy, and Controlling are characteristics of abusers in a domestic violence situation. According to the Office on Child Abuse and Neglect, “The perpetrator's primary goal is to achieve power and control over their intimate partner. In order to do so, perpetrators often plan and utilize a pattern of coercive tactics aimed at instilling fear, shame, and helplessness in the victim.” The abuser also randomly changes the list of rules that their partner must do in order to avoid being abused. The abuser gets a thrill out of making people walk on eggshells around them. Manipulation Abusers have been characterized as the masters of manipulation. After a physical attack, it is not unusual for the perpetrator to beg for forgiveness. Gifts, flowers and loving actions may accompany the promise that they will never “do it again.” A significant number of abusers inflict pain or intimidation on others in order to make themselves have a feeling of power and control. For example, “I will kill you before I let

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anyone else have you”. Isolation the abuser wants to be the center of his partner’s attention and totally isolate the victim from friends and family. The abusive person tries to cut the woman off from all resources and...