Dale Carnegie

How to Win Friends and Influence People

“It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it” (Chapter 2 page 67). How to Win Friends and Influence People, written by Dale Carnegie, is a collection of abiding principles that forms the foundation of all healthy relationships and successful interactions with others. The book is broken up into four main parts consisting of how to handle people, simple ways to make people like you, how to win people to your way of thinking, and how to become a leader in society. By exploring the principles of this book and applying them directly into interpersonal relationships within my life, I can expect effective communication, less conflict, and more flourishing friendships with others.

Carnegie begins his book with a set of guidelines to get the most out of what you are soon to read. A willingness to improve relationships amongst others is required, as well as an open mind and a highlighter. Chapter one begins with an interesting comparison between one of the most dangerous criminals ever to be encountered in New York history, “Two Gun” Crowley, and us. As humans, we are never willing to take the blame for any wrongful actions. We are the first ones to take the spotlight off of ourselves, dismissing any harsh criticisms, and place them on others. “Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment” (Chapter 1, page 23) Carnegie makes a point to emphasize that we all have our faults and pointing them out in others does not change them or reflect positively back on to you. Criticism builds a wall and shuts down communication instantly. To effectively communicate with others, whether it be in the workplace or within relationships, praising for the good rather...