Here Are The Funniest Punishments Ever Handed Down In the Military, According To The Internet
By Brian Adam Jones on Mar 28, 2014
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These are so good.
Anyone who has served in the military has great stories from boot camp, deployments, or military life.
A recent thread on Reddit asked “Military personnel of Reddit, what’s the best/weirdest/funniest punishment you’ve seen handed down by a superior?”
The rigorous authority and rank structures of the military are notorious. Give a lot of young, motivated people a little bit of authority, and watch what funny stories they come up with.
Check my favorite answers out below and tell us your funny story in the comments.
(Responses have been edited for profanity and clarity.)
French-Canadian Mr. Fluffy, by Gadarn
One of the first days in basic a guy in my platoon was standing at attention while having his room inspected by the instructor.
It didn’t matter how nice his room was because there was a large piece of fuzz/fluff on his shirt that immediately drew the sergeant’s attention.
Imagine a female, French-Canadian, sergeant with this accent.
“Recruit Bloggins! What is that on your shirt?! Is that a fluffy!?”
“Yes sergeant!”
“Why is there a fluffy on your shirt, Bloggins!?”
“I must have missed it, sergeant!”
“Missed it? It is so huge, how did you miss such a big fluffy!?”
She picks it off of him. “Hold out your hand.”
He holds out his hand and she places it in his palm.
“This is Mr. Fluffy. Find a home for him, like a pill bottle or something. From now on, whenever I want to see Mr. Fluffy you must bring him to me.”
And so, for the rest of basic, every time the sergeant found a piece of fuzz she would yell out, “MR. FLUFFY!” and Bloggins would have to march over to her and present Mr. Fluffy and she would formally hand him the new piece of fuzz to add to Mr. Fluffy. There...
