Arguing

Hannah Hillebrand

September 11th, 2014

MGT 210 Entrepreneurship

Article 3

Professor Azarian

Arguing

In the article “Arguing” former FBI negotiator Gary Noesner explains how to get anyone on your side. The way he does that is don’t try to win, keep your emotions in check, keep their emotions in check, be a good listener, start small, and give to receive. Noesner claims coming to a mutual agreement is in essence winning the argument.

Getting someone on your side isn’t about winning or losing, but about working together to reach the best agreement possible. A win is a mutual thing. Self-control is essential when trying to influence someone’s decision making-process. If you get angry, let your emotions get the best of you, or give off a certain type of body language then the argument is already lost. If you behave in positive ways then it has a tendency to be mimicked. When someone is being argumentative and raising their voice it’s because they want you to hear them. Acknowledge that you are hearing them using a slow and low voice. Don’t yell back because that would only make the problem worse. Before you can gain cooperation, you have to lower emotions. Take the time to listen to the other person’s point of view. Be open physically, making sure you face the person, have good eye contact, be attentive, and smile. Find some common ground instead of treating an argument like it is a zero-sum game. Tackle the issue that has the best chance of being resolved first. Once those are dealt with you can work on the bigger problems. Be open and flexible. If you do that the person you are arguing with will be more compelled to meet you half way.

Gary Noesner was very clear and helpful in this article. It teaches you how to negotiate with a criminal but it can also be applied to your everyday life and the arguments you face a lot. The biggest thing I learned from this article was that if you enter an argument with the intention of winning, you’re most likely going...