Traditions of the Pinoy's Before the Wedding

Pinoy Pre-Wedding Rituals in Modern Times

The good news is that the days of pikot (shotgun marriage) and kasunduan (arranged marriage) -- where both the bride and groom had no choice but to comply with the parents’ wishes – are long gone.

The bad news: harana (suitor's serenade) is mostly unheard of and ligawan (courtship) is simply reduced to dating. Love letters these days are just regular emails and SMS messages that took a little longer to compose. So when do constant dates officially make a couple? Decades ago, a girl may be expected to say 'Yes' first just so the guy would know that she liked him too. Nowadays, well… they just know.

While Filipino courtship rituals are going the way of the dinosaurs, the rituals for engagements and pre-weddings remain pretty much the same, except for some modern tweaking in keeping with the times. Despite these, the basic essence remains: sincere intentions, respect to elders and spiritual devotion.

Pagtatapat (Marriage Proposal without popping the actual question)

They say that no woman wants to be married without first being asked. But do Filipino men really know how to propose? If so, why does the phrase “Pakakasalan mo ba ako?” (Will you marry me?) sounds more like a threat than a proposal? Popping the question is a totally Western concept that seems out of place within serious Filipino relationships where marriage is often a matter of 'when' rather than 'if'. For Pinoys, “Pakasal na tayo!” (Let’s get married!) seem to be the more likely proposition. Quite rightly, as proposal literally means a presentation of some plan; so asking should be out of the question. Looks like we got it right.

Singsing / Paghingi ng Kamay  (The Engagement Ring as dowr)

A ring symbolizes such a deeper commitment that your average Pinoy will avoid this as a gift to a girlfriend early in the relationship to avoid sending the wrong signal. The engagement ring concept is likewise a Western influence, but its local adaptation is a...