Rules for Writers

Fact and Fiction

Gordon

Rules for Writers, Clarity Exercises

8-1: Passive voice

1. A strange sound was made in the willow tree by the monkey that had escaped from the zoo.

The monkey that had escaped from the zoo, made a strange sound by the willow tree.

2. Her letter was in acknowledgment of the student’s participation in the literacy program.

9-1: Faulty parallelism

1. Camp activities include fishing trips, dance lessons, and computers.

2. Arriving at Lake Powell in a thunderstorm, the campers found it safer to remain in their cars than setting up their tents.

10-1: Missing words

1. Very few black doctors were allowed to serve in the Civil War, and their qualifications had to be higher than white doctors.

2. Rachel is interested and committed to working at a school in Ecuador next semester.

11-1: Mixed constructions

1. Early diagnosis of prostate cancer is often curable.

2. Depending on our method of travel and our destination determines how many suitcases we are allowed to pack.

12-2: Misplaced and dangling modifiers

1. While working as a ranger in Everglades National Park, a Florida panther crossed the road in front of my truck one night.

2. By following the new recycling procedure, the city’s landfill costs will be reduced significantly.

13-3: Inconsistency/Distracting shifts

1. When the photographs were taken on the beach at Sunset, I intentionally left the foreground out of focus.

2. If the warning sirens sound, evacuate at once. It is not advised that you return to the building until the alarm has stopped.

13-4: Inconsistency/Distracting shifts

1. Everyone should protect yourself from the sun, especially on the first day of extensive exposure.

2. Our neighbors told us that the island was being evacuated because of the coming storm Also, take the northern route to the mainland.

16-1: Wordiness

1. Seeing the barrels, the driver immediately slammed on his brakes.

2. A really well-stocked bookshelf should have...