Submitted by: Submitted by heynow317
Views: 761
Words: 339
Pages: 2
Category: English Composition
Date Submitted: 01/30/2011 06:27 PM
COM155/Appendix G
Final Assignment
(Part A)
In my opinion paragraph two was the most concise, well written, well descriptive of the two paragraphs. The first paragraph was not composed with good sentence variation, which in turn made the rhythm of the first paragraph not flow. I thought that it sounded a bit drab, and lacked exciting detail. Not only was it not exciting, but it lacked word variation, and sounded at best repetitive. The second paragraph was well worded, using a variety of sentences that discussed credit card delinquency. It gave reasons why the rate was so high, as well solutions that congress is trying to enact, in order to eliminate high fees. Not only high fees, but the increase of interest rates as well. I was able to take in a lot more information from paragraph two, and the information was very easy to understand. Everything flowed together, and the supporting sentences had great rhythm, as far as how they worked together to further the main idea of the paragraph.
(Write Point Update) Corrected Version
Paragraph two was the most concise, well written, well descriptive of the two paragraphs. The first paragraph was not composed with good sentence variation, which in turn made the rhythm of the first paragraph not flow. I thought that it sounded a bit drab, and lacked exciting detail. Not only was it not exciting, but it lacked word variation, and sounded at best repetitive. The second paragraph was well worded, using a variety of sentences that discussed credit card delinquency. It gave reasons why the rate was so high, as well solutions that Congress is trying to enact, in order to eliminate high fees. Not only high fees, but the increase of interest rates as well. I was able to take in much more information from paragraph two, and the information was very easy to understand. Everything flowed together, and the supporting sentences had good rhythm, as far as how they worked together to further the main idea of...