I Did Not Know My Own Strength

Linda Malone

Professor Mechaca

Tues-Thurs 12:00

Narrative

I Did Not Know My Own Strength

Born in Greenville, Mississippi in 1968 to Velma and John Ross. In 1969 he decided to leave and never came back down to this day. There was two girls before me, one girl after me, and three boys by my stepfather fours later. We were poor! My mom and stepfather fought constantly, we moved very often, there was alcohol use, and a lot of partying. Along with these things came verbal abuse from my mother and sexual abuse from my uncle (more than one uncle).

At eight years of age I found myself in a world of confusion and fear. Then I found out the power of storybook reading. Stories like Cinderella and Snow White comforted me. During this time elementary schools performed plays and I was the leading lady in most of them. I loved those times when I could be someone else. Literally I hated myself, my mom, my dad, and my uncles. In spite of this, I still wanted their attention and love. So I reasoned with myself, “If I make straight A’s in school everybody will love me and I will be the center of attention.” I did accomplish that, but the attention was short-lived and the love was scarce and only for the moment. Therefore my world shrunk along with my self-esteem.

At age twelve I began a life of shoplifting and going to juvenile detention; which led to missing too many days out of school. The outcome was: failing grades, meeting other juvenile delinquents in jail, running away from home, prostitution, getting put out of school, sent away to reform school, a drug and alcohol addiction, a mental institution, two prison sentences, and HIV. I was diagnosed in 1993 with HIV. The events surrounding how I got tested is as follows. My crack cocaine addiction was my life and prostitution was how I supported my habit. One night in May of 1993 I met a john (trick) and he showed compassion and pity on me so he kept me with him supplying my drugs so I would not have...