Infidelity and Marriage

Infidelity is considered the “ultimate betrayal” in a marriage. One partner decides to leave the monogamous unity of their union to pursue sexual or emotional endeavors with a third party. Infidelity is considered to be an ethical violation of the marriage and the ultimate betrayal in marital trust. While married couples may have the best of intensions to be faithful to their spouse, infidelity is not uncommon. In one study, 92% of sampled respondents firmly believed that monogamy in a marriage was very important, but 45% of those same people admitted to having an affair (Weil & Winter, 1993, p. 6).

Affairs have a traumatic effect on marriages because of the messages they convey. Words that often come to mind when one thinks of marriage include love, respect, and trust. At the other end of the spectrum, words associated with infidelity include cheating, betrayal, and deception. Infidelity is considered an attack on the relationship itself and destroys the trust between the married partners. Partners who have been cheated on are left feeling rejected, unloved, angry, and jealous, and feeling they have little power over what has just taken place in their marriage.

But what is the definition of cheating? Answers will vary from person to person. While one person may say any type of physical contact is considered an affair, including holding hands and kissing, another may say fantasizing about another person is a form of unfaithfulness. For the purpose of this paper infidelity will be defined as any activity or relationship, whether sexual or emotional in nature, which drains too much time and energy from the relationship with the marital partner.

There are five main types of affairs: serial affairs, flings, emotional affairs, romantic-love affairs, and long-term affairs (Subotnik & Harris, 2005). The type of affair ranges according to the spectrum of emotional investment that the unfaithful spouse feels towards their lover. While...