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Saloni Nene

Docudrama- Schizophrenia

I: Hello

C: *nods*

I: So Wylie, tell me how things are.

C: *listens for a while, as if listening to someone* fine.

I: I just want you to know that accepting something like this is not an easy task, and you are very strong to come out and talk about it today.

C: *starts panicking* how can I not talk about this? I used to think these voices were my friends.

I: and now?

C: Now? They couldn’t be better than my worst enemies!

I: how’s that?

C: they started off as these friendly voices when I was 10. The kind of voices that were nice to me. Complimented me. Said things no one else did. Almost these angelic voices that told me I was a disciple of Jesus. It was great. Almost like having all these friends I never had.

I: mhm?

C: over the past 12 years, the voices have just gotten worst. I CAN’ T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

I: When did you begin to realize these voices were no longer your friends?

C: *speaks to self- SHH I’m talking* *pauses for a while* when I cut my own jugular open this one time.

I: *looks up. Says nothing*

C: I couldn’t take it anymore. I jus- *pauses, holds back sob* I just couldn’t. I went to my friend’s empty apartment up north, this tiny place no one knew about. I knew no one would find me up there. I didn’t want to be found. I chugged a bottle of vodka, and just sliced it open. Then I just opened a can of beer and watched TV while I was covered in blood from my neck, all the way down to my feet. Just a few minutes later my friends found me and called an ambulance. If it wasn’t for that, I probably wouldn’t be here discussing that very event

I: that must have been a very difficult experience for you.

C: *speaks to self* SHUT UP. I’M TRYING TO TALK TO SOMEONE

I: Was that the worst part about all of this?

C: no

I: then what was?

C: after a while, the voices didn’t just stop being nice to me. They told me to hurt myself and other people. At first, it was just regular voices. Then the...