Lone Wolf

Some five years ago, I’d read a quote somewhere. It went something like this, “You wake up in the middle of the night, hungry. You open the refrigerator, nibble a little of this, a little of that. Finally, you go back to bed; still hungry and unfulfilled. Our life is like that”. I remember this quote every now and then when I am idle. I hate being idle, especially when I am alone. They should replace “devil” with “pessimist” in the quote “An idle mind is a devil’s workshop”.

We are all romantics. We love watching rain, feeling the rain drops in our face, the more romantics of us (like me), we love to get wet in the rain. But mostly we love thinking that there is someone out there watching us all the while and loving us for these very simple things.

Movies have ruined our perception of real life. Lot of times we amuse ourselves in our tragedy. We love being the tragedy kings and queens and thinking that there is no one else more wronged and sad than us. And as the initial amusement dies, then we start to slip. And at this slipping moment, I try to take control of myself (so that I don’t yet again end up being a cry baby that I am) with any meaningless distractions possible. Writing this is one of those distractions.

In these idle-alone times, I can’t help but drift off to my immediate past; my “perfect” past where nothing was missing. Of course I had more than occasional heart breaks, tragedies, but there was always someone I could call mine or someone I could say I belonged to. There was not this constant pressure of finding Mr. Right, there was no jealous & wistful glances at couples holding hands and smiling into each other’s eyes as if they held a secret that nobody else knew, no squirming when your closest friends go on and on happily about their “perfect” partners.

Love is just overrated. I know this. At the end, it is just about having someone in your life so that you can’t categorize yourself as the lone wolf and succumb yourself to all the tragedies you...