Radioactive Man

It all started when our adventurer, Radioactive Man, woke up in a desert. It was the first time it had happened. Feeling overwhelmingly angered, Radioactive Man hit a butterknife, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). A few minutes later, he realized that his beloved diary was missing! Immediately he called his neighbor, Fallout Boy. Radioactive Man had known Fallout Boy for (plus or minus) half a million years, the majority of which were eccentric ones. Fallout Boy was unique. He was easygoing though sometimes a little... selfish. Radioactive Man called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Fallout Boy picked up to a very mad Radioactive Man. Fallout Boy calmly assured him that most hamsters cringe before mating, yet otters usually sassily yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Radioactive Man. Why was Fallout Boy trying to distract Radioactive Man? Because he had snuck out from Radioactive Man's with the diary only eleven days prior. It was a electric little diary... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Radioactive Man got back to the subject at hand: his diary. Fallout Boy panicked. Relunctantly, Fallout Boy invited him over, assuring him they'd find the diary. Radioactive Man grabbed his microwave and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Fallout Boy realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the diary and he had to do it carefully. He figured that if Radioactive Man took the truck, he had take at least six minutes before Radioactive Man would get there. But if he took the time machine? Then Fallout Boy would be excessively screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Fallout Boy was interrupted by eleven abrasive Care Bears that were lured by his diary. Fallout Boy sighed; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling puzzled, he deftly reached for his sock and thoughtfully grabbed every last one of...