Dating Rules: Secrets to Keep and Secrets to Spill
Have you ever hidden something from him about your past (or present)? Or has he ever stunned you with a secret of his own? Here, couples reveal their biggest bombshells. Plus, learn which secrets you must spill -- and which ones to keep to yourself.
By Marisa Cohen for Redbook Photo: Jonny Valiant Updated: May 22, 2009
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In a perfect relationship, you wouldn't keep any secrets from your sweetie. And you'd never have to worry if he were keeping anything from you, because his life, too, would be an open book.
But we live in the real world, where even the healthiest couples sometimes hide things from each other. To most of us, the secret to end all secrets (and many relationships) is an affair -- and no one will quibble with the devastating consequences of infidelity. Yet even "small" deceptions can rock a relationship, and it can be hard to draw the line between what's harmless and what's not.
More Dating Articles from Redbook:
* Top 40 Intimacy Tips and Tricks of All Time
* The Real Reasons Men Cheat
So how to tell what can stay safely tucked away and what calls for a confession? We asked dating experts to outline the rules for secret keeping (and sharing).
Dating Rule #1: Secrets You Must Spill
If you want a relationship grounded in mutual trust (and who doesn't?), certain issues require full disclosure. "If something has a chance of impacting your partner's future or his life with you, then he has a right to know about it," says Mira Kirshenbaum, a relationship expert and author of "Is He Mr. Right?" This includes anything from the past that has reverberations in the present (lingering debts, a chronic medical condition, past emotional abuse), and anything in...