A New Understanding of the Self

Formal Essay 2:  500 words:

“A new understanding of the self influences the child's every thought and emotion from that day forth. Truly she sees the world through different eyes, from a different perspective, with somewhat less of the innocence of her earlier years." - Jay David

I remember the exact moment that I knew, the moment that it became clear; although there were no words exchanged, it left no doubt in my five-year old mind that my family wasn’t like other families.

Back in the 60’s, when I was a very small child, my parents divorced. This was somewhat unheard of then, and years later, my mother told me she had been the only divorcee in town. Needless to say, she was persecuted for this by the “do-gooders” of our small town.

The incidence occurred at a PTA meeting in my kindergarten room. It was subtle, but the impact would last a lifetime.

From the hallway, we could hear the commotion from the room. It was a combination of laughter mixed with the sounds of children’s noisy toys. Before we entered the room my mother stood outside the door and took a deep breath, she smoothed down her dress and looked at me and smiled. But there was a look in her eyes, a look that betrayed her cool, confident exterior, and I could tell she did not want to be here, although she would never admit it. With my hand in hers, we entered the room, and except for the children playing and sirens belonging to the toys, it became silent; some people just looked at us while others whispered. Gradually, the volume picked back up and we went about our business. But I remember the looks we were given, and the way my mother composed herself at the closed door before entering. She knew, as I now did.

When DuBois said “Then it dawned upon me with a certain suddenness that I was different from the others” I knew of the sadness in his words.

And it was these unpleasant events that prepared me for the sometimes cold and harsh realities of the real world. As all children...