The Lightning Thief

THE LIGHTNING THIEF

Percy Jackson and the Olympians – Book 1 Rick Riordan

Scanned by Cluttered Mind V1 text proofed by Mors

Contents 1 I ACCIDENTALLY VAPORIZE MY PRE-ALGEBRA TEACHER 2 THREE OLD LADIES KNIT THE SOCKS OF DEATH 3 GROVER UNEXPECTEDLY LOSES HIS PANTS 4 MY MOTHER TEACHES ME BULLFIGHTING 5 I PLAY PINOCHLE WITH A HORSE 6 I BECOME SUPREME LORD OF THE BATHROOM 7 MY DINNER GOES UP IN SMOKE 8 WE CAPTURE A FLAG 9 I AM OFFERED A QUEST 10 I RUIN A PERFECTLY GOOD BUS 11 WE VISIT THE GARDEN GNOME EMPORIUM 12 WE GET ADVICE FROM A POODLE 13 I PLUNGE TO MY DEATH 14 I BECOME A KNOWN FUGITIVE 15 A GOD BUYS US CHEESEBURGERS 16 WE TAKE A ZEBRA TO VEGAS 17 WE SHOP FOR WATER BEDS 18 ANNABETH DOES OBEDIENCE SCHOOL 19 WE FIND OUT THE TRUTH, SORT OF 20 I BATTLE MY JERK RELATIVE 21 I SETTLE MY TAB 22 THE PROPHECY COMES TRUE

1 I ACCIDENTALLY VAPORIZE MY PRE-ALGEBRA TEACHER

Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood. If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is: close this book right now. Believe whatever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try to lead a normal life. Being a half-blood is dangerous. It's scary. Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways. If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think it's fiction, great. Read on. I envy you for being able to believe that none of this ever happened. But if you recognize yourself in these pages—if you feel something stirring inside—stop reading immediately. You might be one of us. And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before they sense it too, and they'll come for you. Don't say I didn't warn you. My name is Percy Jackson. I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York. Am I a troubled kid? Yeah. You could say that. I could start at any point in my short miserable life to prove it, but things really started going bad last May, when our sixth-grade...