Irony in an Elevator

IRONY IN AN ELEVATOR

IRONY IN AN ELEVATOR by David Millard

CHARACTERS:

GAIL, pregnant woman, wearing a casual dress

ERIC, disgruntled former employee, wearing casual dress with baggy shirt

PHONE OPERATOR, voiced from behind elevator

SETTING

A large three walled box and ceiling with a light in the top of it to represent an elevator.

TIME

Now.

PLACE

An elevator in a ten story building.

(Curtains open)

(Lights in elevator turn off and on 3 times as if flickering. GAIL and ERIC both grab towards the walls and bounce down than up very quickly in a jolting motion as if the elevator came to to a complete stop.)

GAIL: Oh my god!

(GAIL looks at ERIC.)

GAIL: Is this really happening?

ERIC: Yeah I guess it did. Push the emergency call button over there.

(GAIL pushes the button.)

(At this time play the phone ringing audio which rings 3 times than OPERATOR voices in from behind elevator as if on the loud speaker on the elevator communication line.)

OPERATOR: Hello emergency operator what seems to be the issue?

GAIL: Um, yeah our elevator just stopped and I think were between the ninth and tenth floor.

OPERATOR: OK, I see that you are stopped between the ninth and tenth floor, unfortunately ma'am there seems to be a mechanical issue with that elevator at this time. What I am going to have to do Is get one of our technicians there, but that is going to take about forty minutes to an hour.

(ERIC looks towards the speaker with a very angry face.)

ERIC: Are you kidding me!? This is some bull crap!

(GAIL looks and the ERIC.)

GAIL: Please calm down sir, as you can see I'm almost to term and stuck here just like you are.

OPERATOR: Please keep calm in there. Ma'am how many people are in the elevator?

ERIC: Two of us!

GAIL: Yes ma'am, there is two of us in here and I am almost nine months pregnant.

OPERATOR: OK ma'am, as I said the technician will be there in as soon as he can.

(ERIC starts getting fidgety and taking small paces around the...