U06A1 Ivan Ilyich Paper

The subsequent passages were recovered from Praskovya Fyodorovna’s private journals; the journals were discovered following her passing in 1894:

I have finally found true love! As my family may think of me as completely foolish, dearest journal, I wish to shout it from the roof tops, I have found love! I feel goose flesh creeping over my skin even to think his name. His name; to me sounds like a whisper from our holy father himself. Such a noble, profound name: Ivan Ilyich. Upon further reflection, perhaps my love isn’t so foolish. He is a proper man, and with no doubt will be able to obtain the salary necessary to comfortable care for me, and anyone else the Lord may see fit to send along (Oh, how I long for a child). My love rarely speaks of his duties within the Magistrate, but what little he has shared leaves me feeling dull and I figure he must find it exasperating. I find him handsome, regal even, though I am unaware of whether it is his appearance that attracts me so, or his majestic and graceful ability to dance. Each evening, he dances with me. I feel lighter than the clouds when in his arms and each evening, it is our special moment in time. We shall share a magnificent life together. The elegant balls, the beautiful homes, and our children, perfectly obedient and envied by our neighbors; I see this as our future, that is, shall he ever propose. I have dreamed of the moment he does. A grand theater performance plays in my mind of how I might react. Perhaps I shall weep, perhaps faint into his loving arms, either way, I shall say YES! Forgive me dearest journal, fore I have neglected my tasks. I shall write again come next sunset.

Dearest journal, I beg you to accept my most heartfelt regret as I have not confided in you for well over a fortnight. Please Lord; let this be my last child. This pregnancy has been absolutely miserable. I had the misfortune of dealing with excruciating pain through the entirety of my pregnancy and to my dismay; our lovely...