Touch

Touch: Overcoming Differences

Touch: Overcoming Differences

"How can I become more openly affectionate when expressing affection openly was discouraged in my family?" "My partner likes to touch and be touched, but I am uncomfortable with both. How can we overcome these differences?"

These are questions many ask over and over regarding human sexuality. Most people are aware of the deep need humans have for touching and to be touched. So profound is this need that infants have been observed wasting and becoming ill, in spite of good physical care, as a result of a lack of touch and cuddling. Among adults, professionals see a correlation between marital happiness and physical affection. The happiest couples often tend to be the most demonstrative couples. The response to touch is indeed physical: Biochemical reactions produced be touch can cause an increase in heart rate, a drop in blood pressure, and an easing of pain.

A variety of factors appear to contribute to each individual's need for and ability to touch. Among these, culture is a strong determinant. Studies show that Americans tend to touch less than most Latin American countries, The Middle East, and Russia. Families also have a key role in influencing how comfortable people are with touching. Both quantity and quality of touch among adults and between children are observed by children and then transferred into behavior that often repeats itself in ;later adulthood. Inborn differences, gender and individual preference also influence touching.

Regardless of where the patterers and preferences originate, problems can occur in relationships if distinct discrepancies exist between partners in sending or receiving touch. Misunderstandings, discomfort, and a widening gap in the ability of each person to emotionally connect with the other often result.

The most obvious and possibly the most difficult solution to this problem is honest communication. Communication can replace assumptions, ignorance, and...