Ineffective and Effective Skills in Negotiation

Negotiation is a simple task at some times in life, but at other times it is more difficult, especially when you are trying to negotiate with a child. Add a child with very good deductive and reasoning skills in the conversation, and it becomes very tricky.

The one main negotiation that happens almost daily around my house is my daughter trying to negotiate with my fiance about eating her dinner in a timely manner instead of playing and making a mess, and when her plate is clean. It usually starts with her not wanting to sit at her table and eat, but would rather sit in front of the television to eat where she can be distracted and not eat. Then the negotiation process starts, first I hear," If you let me eat in the living room, I promise I'll be nice to mommy tomorrow and give you a big big hug and two kisses." Then I usually hear, "Well you should already be nice to mommy, I already get big hugs and kisses, and you have to eat at your table, because you do not eat when in the living room, all you do is watch television or play with your food." Followed usually by," I promise I'll eat really good and not just stare at the television if you let me eat in the living room." Finally the last of the negotiation begins, with "I'll tell you what, if you eat everything on your plate with out getting up and showing us every five minutes to see if your done, and we don't catch you staring at the television, then after you are done eating, brushing your teeth, and getting your jammies on, then you can watch twenty minutes of television before bedtime. But I do not want an argument about going to bed if you get to watch television." She usually agrees pretty quickly, but sometimes does not like the conditions and follows with a, " But can't tonight be a special night, I get to eat in the living room on special nights?" Which he usually replies,"I'm sorry honey but tonight is not a special night." Finally she gives up and says "okay, I'll go eat. Love you."...