Marital Expectations

Luquette

Jenee Luquette

Ms. Jessica Jones

English 102-007

22 June 2010

According to Stephanie Coontz, “People have always fallen in love, and throughout the ages many couples have loved each other deeply. But only rarely in history has love been seen as the main reason for getting married,” (Coontz 251). Historically, love and marriage were not synonymous. However, today there isn't a person in America who would even think of marrying without it . Love conquers all, but does it pay bills, decorate homes, or feed the kids- struggles most married couples face everyday. As Americans, we would all like to think so, but in reality, it doesn't. Marriage is impossible without commitment, but life is impossible without love. The two go hand in hand.

Commitment is extremely evident in the Edelman household. She describes the first year-and-a-half of her new born's life. Her husband, John, started spending more time with work than ever. In turn, she then had to cut down on her work hours to pick up the slack at home. Edelman really felt the pressure of the gender roles kids all learn about growing up. She recounts, “I hadn't bargained for how deeply the gender roles of 'nurturer' and 'provider' are ingrained in us all, or- no matter how much I love being a mother to my daughter- how much I would grow to resent them,” (Edelman 323). John's original 6 month plan to start off his new company (working day and night until it stabilized) was slowly turning into a year. This was not going to end soon. Edelman feared the worst for their daughter. Maya growing up without a father haunted her thoughts day in and day out. So, she tried the marriage counseling technique. Shortly after that failed, the fights turned into anger matches again. Edelman says, “Neither of us was 'wrong.' Neither was completely right.” There was never any “flashy turning point,” (Edelman 325) so she says. The way they resolved things was gradual. Eventually, John's

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company stabilized and...