Me and You

Pat, i've been doin a lot of thinkin and just been tryin to understand some things. I know we've had our ups and downs but i just don't get why you resent me so much. Now before grandma passed away i had sat down and talked to her about mine and your relationship, and she had asked me to make sure to do something for her. I had made a promise to her that no matter what happens to always try to keep some kind of relationship with you. I kept my promise. I have tried so damn hard but it seems whenever my life starts looking up, i'm doin good and am happy you always seem to push me away. Why, i may never know. I have tried callin you and left messages but once again nothin in return. I sat in the hospital for a week not knowin what is wrong with me except for the fact my liver is messed up. Still don't know whats wrong and now i'm goin in for a liver byopsi next week. While laid up in the hospital on the night i was most exhausted from it all i recieved a call and was told you were gonna come visit me. I was so happy to hear that and eager awaiting ur arrival. Was just janessa and myself there at that point. I fought soo hard to keep myself awake long enough to visit with you for a few that night but was blindsided by the fact of being blown off. No arrival, no calls no nothing. Now i'm not askin for sympathy from anyone. I don't want anyone feelin sorry for me. I really don't. You know the only one from the gustafson side that has cared to contact me to see how i'm doing is grandpa. We all know he's not doin so good himself yet he cares enough to call me just to talk and catch up for a few and to see how i'm doing. Thats love. I just don't understand why you are the way you are. probably never will. Now to be perfectly honest with you if you don't have it in you to be a father figure thats alright but would it be to much to ask for you to at least be there as a friend?! somethin to at least show you care at least a little bit. I'm not doin this to cause a fight, i...