Extra-Effort Kids

Extra-Effort Kids

Abstract

A major source of stress in a marriage comes from parenting extra-effort kids. These kids can create confusion, frustration and feelings of failure for the parents. They are known for dominating the family’s dynamics and over time can cause division in the marriage union if it is not grounded on a solid foundation. Parenting extra-effort kinds requires effective communication, boundaries, and the God kind of live to be at work in the marriage relationship. In order for a marriage to withstand the stresses caused by parenting extra-effort kids they must be educated about the child’s disorders, learn how to cope with the disorders and make sure that their marriage is child proof

Extra-Effort Kids

An extra effort kid is defined as a child who, “due to a demanding handicap or behavioral/emotional/learning disorder, takes extra time and effort to harmonize with the family in a stable and productive manner” (Clinton & Trent, 2009, p.146). Extra-effort kids are those who struggle with disorders such as Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD) and emotional, sexual, physical or mental abuse. Some extra-effort kids have more than one disorder in operation which complicates the parenting efforts even more. In order for one to successfully parent these kids and still maintain a fruitful marriage they must educate themselves about the disorders that their kids face as well as develop coping skills for their entire family. The couple must ensure that they are taking the proper steps to kid proof their marriage by doing marriage maintenance on a regular basis.

Parents who have children that are extra-effort kids commonly struggle with dysfunctions in their communications skills, relationship conflict, family organization and problem solving skills inside their family unit (Foley, 2011). All parents have a different tolerance level which affects their patience for parenting...