Is Married Life the Easy Life?

Is Married Life the Easy Life?

People often dream of the wonderful life they'll have once they're married. Unfortunately, many of these dreams are short-lived. The reality of married life -- that it requires extraordinary effort -– usually "hits home" within 24 hours after the wedding! And then you start wondering: What did I get into?

When I decided to get married, I knew there were many things about married life I didn't yet understand. I was blessed to have a teacher who gave me some good advice. I remember my first "prep course" like it was yesterday. He told me, "David, just remember, marriage is for pleasure." I took his words to heart and to paper.

Then I asked him for additional advice. He responded, "You don't understand the first thing I told you." I looked down at my notes and read back his words: "Marriage is for pleasure."

I thought I understood the meaning of these four simple words. I wanted to get married because of the "good life" I associated with this commitment. It was then that my teacher taught me a lesson that created a paradigm shift within my understanding of relationships.

He said, "David, when I said, 'marriage is for pleasure,' you didn't hear 'pleasure,' you heard 'comfort.' Don't confuse the two. Marriage isn't for comfort. It is for pleasure. If you think that being married is easier than being single, don't get married, because you're in for a big surprise. There's a high price that you pay to create and maintain a happy marriage. You've got to be willing to pay that price."

People who take the time to understand this statement -– marriage is for pleasure, not for comfort -– learn the number one rule for a successful relationship: "To get married and to stay happily married, know that marriage will entail hard work." It's not always comfortable. There will be painful issues to work out and disagreements are inevitable. The Boy Scout motto couldn't be more apropos: Be prepared.

SEEKING PLEASURE

Most people...