Bartholomew

The four examples of Kim Bartholomew’s Attachment Styles are Secure, Preoccupied, Fearful, and Dismissing (Miller, 2012). Secure is a person that fins it easy to get close to others and likes to be able to rely on others as well as others relay on them, they are weary of abandonment. A Preoccupied person likes to be close to others just like a secure person, however this person fears that others do not see them as important as they see the other, this person is afraid of not being held close in a relationship. Fearful people are afraid of being close to others, but they crave to be in a close relationship with others, they just fear being hurt by putting themselves out there. Lastly, dismissing people are very independently content people; they love not having to rely on others and not being in a close relationship with others.

I believe that you can have more than one of these attachment styles; some of them can be used hand in hand. Clearly you can’t mix two different types of people that one wants no intimacy and one that does, however I believe that these four styles show two definite sides of attachment styles with not really any in between styles.

Two generally accepted broad themes are one, avoidance of intimacy, and two, anxiety of abandonment (Miller, 2012). Avoidance of intimacy are those people that have trust issues so they avoid getting close to others and relying as well as being relied on by others. Anxiety of Abandonment is the opposite, these people want to be close to others but have that fear of being left. They constantly strive to be wanted and valued in a relationship and fear the other person does not value them as much as they do.

Miller, R. (2012). Intimate Relationships. (6 ed). New York, NY: McGraw Hill.