Helper Relationship

Bringing the helper relationship to an end

The helping relationship will have to come to an end at some point for the client as both parties will agree upon this when the time comes. This is where the opportunity comes to the client to give honest feedback about the whole process and what they have got out of it. The client may talk about personal insights that have been gained and beginnings of behaviour or personality change may be noticeable. The client should also be less reliant on the helper and feel a lot more dependent on their own awareness compared to what they would have been like at the beginning. Greater self confidence should be clear and a new motivation to solve their own problems also should be present.

Once a decision has been made for the ending of the sessions, questions are often asked to help the client recognise their development and the journey they have been through therapy. Questions that are often asked are:

* What has changed since we first met?

* What have you got from counselling?

* How can you look after yourself?

For many clients, especially long term may experience the feeling of loss and grief when the sessions come to an end. As a helper it is important to understand this and be careful that the client doesn’t return to the same state they came to you with.

Bowlby has a theory of the four stages of grief when Kubler-Ross believes there are five stages.

Bowlby says that the first stage is the feeling of numbness which is used as a defence mechanism by adapting vacancy of emotion. Kubler-Ross has a similar idea by saying that the first stage that the client goes into denial. Both theories are on the same line as they are basically saying that the first stage is to hide their emotions which I believe is what often happens when grieving.

The next stage for Bowlby is searching and yearning. This means a range of emotions are expressed as reality begins to sink in that there is a loss but they are refusing to...