The Abundance of Me

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. This well-known phrase often chanted by children isn’t exactly true. Although this sounds like a good idea, no one should put up with verbal abuse because the reality of it is that verbal abuse is very damaging on a number of levels, including changes to personality, work productivity and emotional strength.

Children and adults alike believe the principle that being insulted and belittled hurts. The question that stands is when does someone stand up to their oppressor? In the book, Billy Budd Sailor, written by Herman Melville, mild mannered Billy finds himself repetitively verbally abused by fellow ship mate Claggart. This young man silently suffers until he finally snaps. Billy should have stood up for himself and confronted Claggart before the situation escalated into a deadly outcome. Here are three reasons to clarify this belief. If Billy had confronted Claggart sooner he would have avoided verbal abuse becoming part of his everyday life. He could have handled this ongoing situation responsibly could have been resolved logically.

Lack of communication is the reason for many arguments and misunderstandings. Not being able to speak one’s mind clearly creates questions and unwanted stress. Billy suffered with a stutter and the more Claggart harassed him, the harder it was for Billy to communicate and think clearly. He ended up avoiding his tormentor which resulted in extending the verbal abuse. It became part of their everyday pattern.

This consistent harassment took over not only Billy’s mind, but also his performance working. At age 21 Billy, a strong and independent man, got bullied like an elementary school kid.