To Stay or Not to Stay

As I sit down to write, one very emotional scene from the popular TV series ‘Desperate Housewives’ comes to mind. This scene begins in the home of Lynette, a mother of four very young children. Prior to having children, Lynette was a very successful career woman. She gave that up to stay at home with her children. As she looks on at the mess of her home and her children wreaking havoc, she realizes that she is reaching her breaking point. She quickly gets the children dressed, and forcefully drops them off at a neighbor’s home. The next scene is Lynette at the park, hunched over and bawling. Lynette feels like a failure. Friends, who are also mothers, find her there. As her friends try to console her, Lynette speaks of how she feels and how it seems like the other mothers in the neighborhood seem to do their tasks so easily, and so well. Lynette’s friends quickly reassure her that they, too, have had those days when they feel they can do nothing right. This is the side of motherhood that people don’t talk about very often. According to my readings, the religious right seems to idealize mothers who stay at home to raise their children. The feminist movement tells women that they belong in the work place, whether they have children or not. Neither side addresses the emotions that Lynette found so overpowering; both sides seem so impassioned that they are correct in their views. This social controversy, mothers working outside the home or staying at home to raise their children, has been the topic of many articles and many books. The purpose of this paper is to inform the reader of the issues women face while staying at home to raise children, and the issues women face while working outside the home while raising children.

Most of the pros for staying at home with your children can be summed up in two words: more time. Stay at home moms have more time with their children, with their family, more time to volunteer, etc. The list can go on and...