Das Hitler

Every Jew

Down in Jewville

Liked Hanukkah a lot,

But Das Führer…

Who lived just South of Jewville,

Did not.

He hated Hanukkah!

The whole Jewish season!

Now, please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason.

It could have been that his armband was too tight.

It could have been that his hair wasn’t styled just right.

But I believe that the most likely reason of all

May have been that his moustache was two sizes too small.

But,

whatever the reason,

For his Hanukkah blues,

He sat on his balcony hating the Jews...

Staring down from his chair with a sour fascist frown

At the warm lighted windows below in their town.

For he knew every Jew down in Jewville beneath

Was busy now, playing dreidel without grief.

"And they're puttin on Yarmulkes!" he snarled with a sneer.

"Tomorrow is Hanukkah, it's practically here!"

Then Das Führer growled, with his fingers furiously drumming,

"I MUST find a way to stop Hanukkah from coming!"

For, tomorrow, he knew...

...All the Jew girls and boys

Would wake up bright and early. They'd rush for their chocolate coins!

Then! Oh, the coins! Oh, the coins! Coins! Coins! Coins!

If there's one thing Das Führer hated it was all the COINS! COINS! COINS! COINS!

Then the Jews, young and old, would sit down to a feast.

And they'd feast! And they'd feast!

And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! F***ing FEAST!

They would start on latkas, and rare matzo ball soup,

Which was something that made Das Führer want to puke!

And THEN

They'd do something Das Führer liked leas of all!

Every Jew down in Jewville, the tall and the small,

Would stand close together, with Hanukkah bells ringing.

They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Jews would start singing!

They'd sing! And they'd sing!

AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!

And the more Das Führer thought of the Jew's happy fling,

The more Das Führer thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"

"Why for fifty-six years I've put up...