Collection of Monolouges

ROSIE. Will you just leave me alone? I really don’t care about you or your stupid petty problems, okay? I have plenty of problems of mine own. And I really don’t need you calling me at eleven o’clock at night, complaining about your life. I don’t care. I’m sorry that Sammi doesn’t like you, but I don’t know what you want me to do about it. I barely know the girl. I haven’t spoken to her since I moved. Maybe, instead of calling to whine about how she doesn’t like you and how she ignores you, you should ask her out on a date or something. I am not your diary okay? I’m not someone who’s at you beck and call. I have a life and right now, I’m swamped with papers and getting ready for the state tests. I realize that you’re out of school now and you have all the time in the world, but I don’t. I don’t have time to deal with your love life right now. So find someone else to complain to. There’s a reason why I’m ignoring all your calls and not answering your text messages, it’s because I don’t want to talk to you.

As if it’s not bad enough that all you do is talk about the girl you like, but you don’t even bother to ask me how I’m doing. I haven’t seen you in two years! The least you could do is ask, ‘Hey, how are you? How are things at your new school?’ But nope. All you want to talk about is Sammi, Sammi, Sammi. Wasn’t it Megan last week? And Cassi the week before? I hate to break it to you, but you don’t know what love is. Your sixteen and you’ve ‘been in love’ with seven girls in the past year. You’re in love with the idea of love. You find some poor girl to obsess with and then get your heart broken when she doesn’t love you back.

You need to get a life John. Stop pretending to love girls who you just met. Sometimes I feel like I’m talking to Romeo when I talk to you. You just can’t understand that teenagers don’t understand love.

I really don’t care if you can’t get over Sammi. Find someone else to be your freaking diary. Stop calling me, stop texting me and...