College

I could lie to you and tell you that I’m surrounded by miraculous people who have changed and influenced my life. Or, I could tempt you with a story about a wonderful role model I’ve had. However, neither of those story lines would be true. I’m not influenced easily. I don’t have a wonderful role model, and people have definitely not changed my life. Experiences have changed my life and challenged me; however, that doesn’t make me unique. Everyone’s had to overcome adversity in her life. Only I’ve conquered mine with a hat.

There’s this hat I have. It’s a bucket hat, a creamy brown corduroy. It’s my shield from the world and the opening to my mind. The hat has no special history; it came from the shelves of Old Navy. But it’s my partner in thinking. Whenever I’ve surrendered to frustration over something, I find my hat, slip the smoothly lined corduroy over my head, and let it embrace my mind.

With the hat wrapping my head, I feel insightful, confident, and comfortable with myself. That’s the thing I tend to struggle with, feeling like I belong with the rest of the crowd. While I appear to be comfortable in groups, on the inside, I’m in a panic. When I wear my hat out, I feel invisible to criticisms and superior enough to think my own thoughts, untouched by others’ opinions. My hat allows my cool confidence.

Although I’m glad that my hat is always there for me, to hide my insecurities and restore my confidence. But, as glad as I am, I realize that I cannot hide under my hat forever. There should be a time for me to step out of my shell, suck it up and dive into the world without armor on.

I’m looking to step out into the world without my corduroy armor on, to find the confidence and comfort in this world that I so crave. I believe that college will be the place for me to step into without armor. The goal of most colleges is to prepare you for the workplace and the real world, end of story. However, at State University, I began to feel that the school is...